Obsession Confession

Dee, I just hope that I don't look like this to you...

I was totally surprised when my friend Dee had confessed she was obsessed about me and she was afraid that she will scaring me away. To tell her the truth, sometimes, it does scary enough but for this time, rather being scary, it was so exciting. Like her did, I’m obsessed about somebody else too until sometimes, I don’t know what’s going on in my head. I scare people away all the times and I feel terribly bad about myself. At certain point, I can’t stand being a person that I am right now. Once, people had calling me a psycho but I don’t give a damn about it. But now, since my last obsession with somebody recently and gotten into worst situation I’m in to, I’m started to revise all my “unpleasant” behavior but in artistic way. Then, Dee came along and she had confessed to her colleagues that she was totally obsessed about me on the Facebook. Whether it was a joke or not, I am totally surprised that we’re both had the same feeling but never had a chance to tell her that I am like her too. Sometimes, I do obsessed about beautiful ladies as well. Does that makes me really look like a lesbian? But I really attracted to men at the same time. Oh, sounds like I’m a bi-sexual already but really I would like to hang out with someone beautiful with beautiful heart. For me, Dee is pretty cute. She wasn’t my classmates but Iike her personality. Talked about obsessions, I am glad that some people didn’t know what she’s talking about. Dee is always be my friend. Even if we’re been far apart from each other, I’m here in Sarawak while she was in Down Under, with the new style of communications, I feel like she was next to me as well. So we can obsessed about each other and keep on checking back and forth on ourselves.

The Speech That Had Made Me Becomes The Greatest Enemy

* This video was taken on April 9th 2011 (I took this video with my cellphone camera. I'm sorry for such a bad quality of a picture)

Last year, I was attending Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim’s campaign. It was a block away from the place that I had worked. Everyone seems to be eager to see a man that being called “GUILTY” and “SEX-MANIAC” by his opponents that were supposed to be his sidekicks way back before his was kick from the “ORGANIZATION”. In my point of view, I’m taking few considerations about him. He gained many supporters and as for myself, I’m not his supporters but I would like to hear what he said like giving someone a chance to talk about something that maybe we don’t know about ourselves or anything around us. Once, he was sounds domineering but then, I think he’s right about lots of things, I mean look at the reality here in this country. It was definitely saddened and I feel I was also a victim to this difficult situations too. At least, someone had talked about it. Perhaps, I may stood up for something different in politics but I won’t do something extremely dangerous like the other does.

In the other hand, during his speech that day, I would like to see a man that they had accused him for having a sex with beautiful prostitute of Thailand. I saw a few videos through YouTube and clearly, these people wanted to end his political careers for good. This is insane, I thought and I can’t believe cops are also falling for this too. Whether it had been arranged or whatever they called it, I’m going to remember this as the dirtiest political campaign ever in Malaysia for more than 10 years. Malaysia would never be the same as they kicked Anwar out and they jailed him. For few years, Anwar had exposed most of the secrets that we never know for sure but for this time, like I said, I believe him. As I was attended the campaign at the same time, I was accused as a traitor of my own families and friends. I would like to say this even if they won’t listened to me. That is called “FREEDOM OF CHOOSING FOR WHAT WE WANT”. Sadly, it was a crime for some people and yeah, give that man a chance to talk on his behalf by the way.

During half an hour campaign here in Tatau on April 9^th 2011, the speeches are mostly about the reality that happens in Malaysia. It’s very regrettable that not every people focusing on what he said about it. I just don’t want to express I was regret when after the campaign they had threatened my career, my life, everything but I refused to give up and perhaps, he was my inspired to stand up against them all. He may not a real hero for everyone but as I can see from what I understood, it’s a simple facts that he was ex-deputy premier and it’s a fact that he knows how it goes in this country in every way. Well, some idiots are trying to cover the shit up and fools those were already idiots with their idiots idealism. What a mess, I thought. Of course is everything but it won’t buy my faith and my freedom as well. I guess, not everybody were at the same page as I was. Well, as I had upload this video, I don’t have a translations but I summarized his speeches that day.

His speeches are all about the current Sarawak government that is dominated but more 40 year-old rules. Even if the government had claimed that had bring the better lives for the people but the sad truth is most of these so-called “DEVELOPMENT” had been robbed out from the people here in Sarawak. He talked about timber mafia, illegal logging, illegal plantations as many more. Then again, he talked about corruption among BN (Barisan Nasional party) leaders especially in Sarawak lead by Chief Minister Pehin Sri Taib Mahmud. That is the sad truth but I believe it is more than that. I don’t want to comment more about the personal things owned by Sarawakian leaders. That sounds too personal but if they’d claimed for what they’d claimed it was the truth, I don’t want guessing games with them but to get ready for anything that will be happened in this year. Meanwhile, we’ll wait for that, whatever next, I’m sure it’s very interesting.

Mad GaGa Revenge VS Angry Birds

When I'm turning myself into Angry Bird...

Think that I am going to stop just like that, well, think again. I am really didn’t like some people provoking my life and sometimes, some people should get their lesson from me. I had enough with bullies. Recently, I had been attacked by several people that called they’re so damn evil genius. They had betrayed my trust on them and trying to throw me out from the office. Well, let’s see whose get who at the first place. And so I was feel that I was humiliated by this person. I feel extremely bad about myself. I just don’t understand why did I fell into the same mistake over and over again? I thought. Nowadays, I’d rather stay alone and be alone. I just didn’t want to meet anyone and if I had to, I never hangaout with the. They’re bad influnces to my life. I don’t want to be like that. I am waiting for the right time to seek for revenge. Humiliating my life through Facebook or any social medias are not wise move instead now, I am using Facebook against these kind of people to get the punishment.

This person had bitching a lot through Facebook. I was “UNFRIEND” and even “BLOCK” this person from my friend lists. I am tired being an angry bird all the times when I saw the posts posted by this person. Bitchy friends aren’t my friends instead I thought this person should get a life of her own. Her colleague couldn’t stand her bitchiness as well as myself but I am so lucky to work everyday without her compares to them. She’s always complained and bitch to her “so-called” husband. Her “husband” was a married man and I know she knows that she was in love with a married man but she keep on doing it. She’s a scrubber for me. At the other side of the story, I’m quietly feel sympathy to her other colleagues. She made their lives like a living hell. I couldn’t stand to see them get bullied and I thought, maybe I could do something to give some support. All I can do is I had asked them to tell the truth or get help from someone that could listen to their grieves. She had bury them alive.

Maybe she's using silicone and saline to get some revenge but not me...

Former supervisor whose supposed to take care of the business had quit the job very long time ago was coming back to rescue all his peeps when one of them had expressed their grievance. After a series of argument last December, they’re back on track and kick that bitch from the business. Even if she’s still a “housemaid”, she was asked to stay away from their business. I can see through her eyes that she was humiliated. How does it feels to be humiliated? Now, she was preparing for the worst. The entire enemies are waiting for the outside to get her and I was sit there and watch her damn bitchy show. When she’s complained about this and that about her life, I just listening but never really care what she said because I thought it was a lie after all. Then, they had found her secret posts through facebook whereas she bitches about lots of people including myself.  

I just feel like Lady GaGa except I don’t use silicone and saline to kill my enemy. At least, I’m injected the poison to herself. Am I sounds like bitchy enough to you? Maybe! But I had let her to taste her own medicine. I just wanted her to know, no matter what you did, someday, somehow, God will judge you. I am not the one who judge you. Speaking of revenge, it was really not a revenge. It was for the sake of justice. I know I am like Lady GaGa’s song –  “Dance In The Dark” and “Marry The Night” and if I get really angry, I was like chirping around like angry birds but never ever used the hard way to get revenge on these kind of people. I would to see more drama from her, anytime soon. She’s already calling her peeps to get her hands on them but I think she’s coward. She talks a lot and I was “Yeah, yeah, whatever – BITCH!!!”. But somebody should kick her ass out from here.

2012: Time For Miracles

A year that I'm waiting for...

For some culture, this year, may be the end of the world while the other culture believe that it was the end of the era. I don’t know what kind of things that I had to believe but in my perspective of view, I just wanted to start a new year with some new issues and even the unresolved issues from last year. For me, for the last three years, it was totally horrible years. I just don’t understand why that it seems like a Lady Luck had been far away from me. For this year, I am trying create my own luck with my own effort. I don’t know if this is going to work but I will try my very best to create this opprtunity of my own. Like I said before, I don’t have any new resolutions but I tend to finish the resolutions that had been undone yet. For me, it’s very bad start but I refused to give up at the first place. At least, I am more aware than usual. Speaking of dreams, I do have many of them but all I need is now. For some, it may just a joke but for me, I’ll take it seriously. After all, both French cyclists that had comes to my longhouse and even my workplace had reminds me how they’re wanted to achieve their dreams to travel around the world by just cycling. I am so inspired by this and I am decided to do this as well. I know that 2012 had install something beautiful for me.  After all, I want to live in my imagination and not my past anymore. That imagination will become my present and it will no more become my future.

Happy New Year 2012

To all CGC fans, lovers and passerby readers,
Happy New Year 2012....

From CGC Creator & Admin,
Sylvia @ Ryoko

Merry Christmas 2011

To all CGC fans, lovers and passerby readers,
Merry Christmas and The Happy New Year 2011....

From CGC Creator & Admin,
Sylvia @ Ryoko

Mad GaGa Attack VS Angry Birds

Angry Bird on the street, watch out!!!

Today, I had found almost everyone is irritating. I just realized I had some kind of “Mad GaGa Attack” in my mind. I just wished it will be away from my mind but I just can’t. I’m having a little exploding with few people today but I make a quick excuse with turning myself into silence or making a very big smile in my face. I feel like my face is aching now. Everything is seems to be matter to me from my personal life to my public life. I don’t like people backstabbing me all the times and I’m tired of being coward. I swear I will get my hands on with few people but I decided to teach them a lesson with my own style. I don’t consider some of them a junior brain-child anymore when they’re now considering as an adult. It’s time to launch an attack to these idiots that’s keep calling them a mad genius. When I do, nobody can stop me. When I’m mad, I’m really like an angry birds and I don’t care what will happen to them. I’ll get what I want and give back what they’d gave to me.